We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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