omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
