I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
