i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
