STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
