I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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