I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
