If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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