Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
