nut hugger
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
