dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
