It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
