I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
3pm strippers are depressing
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
