its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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