Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
