Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
