The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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