i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
