That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
