Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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