bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
