I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
