So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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