I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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