do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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