i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
