they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
