it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
