girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
