Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
