No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
