it hurts more in the daytime
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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