You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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