I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
