I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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