could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
