If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
