He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
