so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
