it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
