Plan B is the new Plan A
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
