I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
