Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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