And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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