Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
