didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
