Its about making memories worth repressing
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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