No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
