If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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