is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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